How To Handle The Daily Rejection And Pressure Of Being A Recruitng Leader

Hey everybody it’s richard milligan your host of recruiting conversations i’m back with another podcast and today i’m going to let you listen in to a recent coaching session where the question that had been posed to me is a question that i think a lot of us can relate to and the question was how do you deal with the days or how do you deal with the moments where your energy is off where you’re not motivated where you just dealt with a tough situation and now you got to pick yourself back up and go do the things that a recruiter does get on the phone with someone make a cold call right like i think most of people listening to this podcast are recruiting leaders and now you just come out of a tough conversation solving a problem and you’ve got to engage with someone at a high level with great energy because we know that recruiting is as simple as a transference of passion the transference of energy but you’ve got to get yourself to that place where your energy is good and so i’m gonna i’m gonna bring in this little clip and you’ll get to listen to about seven minutes of a coaching session and then i’ll come back to you so we’re gonna go to the clip live now so let’s let’s just talk about your personality profiles and come back to like the awareness the self-awareness uh conversation um as extroverts that are high healers that’s both of you um you know that space of like ah i feel is gonna it’s gonna come up pretty consistently because that’s right that’s how you’ve been designed it means you’re incredibly charismatic you’re very passionate you’re good communicators it’s why you you are great recruiters on the flip side of that that feeling component can be uh can in moments where it’s like you can get frustrated with something whatever that thing is uh it can really take you off the track of rhythm and routine and so being aware of that so i always um i’m a high feeler so i always am aware when i say i feel and i pause because it’s not that i want to i want to disarm the feeling as much as i want to be neutral in it to go is it because feelings always lie to us right emotions they lead us to bad places they only typically lead us to great places so we have to lead our emotions not follow our emotions so when i say i feel okay i always i try to catch myself and pause and be thoughtful in that moment so that’s a space for both of you um that can that can actually be a struggle or win if you understand your playbook around your feelings because feelings are simply a state of mind right that’s why we say people responding kind is because like if you feel something and i’m a fueler i will typically respond like you did you say something mean to me i’ll say something mean back you want to treat me poor i’ll treat you poor you want to be condescending i can be condescending right it’s like people responding kind why um it’s it’s you know because like that’s the state someone else is in now our state is in that same place so in moments where it’s like i’m really struggling or i feel low or i feel a synergy it’s always how the the question you’ve got that’s a low-level question is why do i always feel this way that’s a low-level question it’s like saying why did my kids always act out that’s a bad question the better question is like what can i do to [Music] to change the situation what can i do to change my energy around this because that’s simply a state now we change our state and how we arrive in a moment on the phone matters how we arrive at a moment when we’re creating scripting matters or trying to push through to get the whatever the number is for the day all that matters and you have to change your state a lot of times in order to get to those places so be aware of that that’s simply a play in the playbook you can always and forever change your state i feel like my energy is low today you can either receive that accept that which is what average people do or you can change that in a moment and what’s the plan the playbook that would change that so i worked i would come back into my office last night i did not want to come back to my office but i’ve got some big projects on my plate and i’m not yeah i’m not a project guy i hate projects i got to go to a special spot in my brain to do a large project i came back into my office at 9 30 and worked almost 3 o’clock in the morning got up at 6. okay i’m really focusing on my state today because i’m in coaching session i started at eight i come out at five i’m really focusing on my state because i need to be here and be my best for for both of you and for everybody else right so that’s the place that you’re going to win or lose and that’s that’s a larger picture of like life not just recruiting so as feelers be very aware of that because when we show up we go i feel wait a second that’s the bad place to be in i can change that state i will leave my emotions i will not follow my emotions and if you gave me 10 minutes i can change all of that state go to playlist on music go for a walk around your block go drink two glasses of water go do whatever green tea in the afternoon all those are things that help me change my state clapping my hands it’s actually scientific it didn’t it actually releases dopamine in the body it seems silly but that like if i was to stand here and uh and tony robbins before he goes on stage you know what he does he gets on a little bitty trampoline when those little micro trampolines jumps up and down and jumps up and down and claps his hand and and uses the vocal cords to get them going why because he’s improving his state so he can show up on stage and be at his maximum capacity okay we just don’t think about it and we just take the environment or the situation for what it is so there you go go to that place and now it’s an awareness right where it’s like oh yeah i know i’m gonna i’m gonna feel like this consistently what’s the play in my playbook i pull it out and now i can change that and now i go back to a better rhythm and what happens is that it’s like the pendulum right the longer you allow the pendulum to swing out the farther it swings and so it’s like it’s like in oklahoma the wind almost always blows out of the south it very rarely blows out of the north so all the trees here if you look at them closely they’re bending to the north because the wind always blows out of south that’s a bend right and so we use this with human beings a lot of times we say well that person has a bend or is a tendency to do certain things right well in recruiting if you don’t create a bend where it’s like every single time that this comes up i oppose it and i come against it if you don’t do that you’ll eventually have this bend and what will happen is you’ll be like yeah recruiting is just not for me this sucks right like this is too hard i want to find something that’s easier and and a great man taught me one time he said this and just has always resonated with me especially now that i’m much wiser than i was in my 20s and 30s is that he said anything worth having in this life i’ll say it again anything worth having in this life you will have to fight for it you’ll have to resist this right so it’s like this is the what i’m feeling right now i if that becomes a recognition of oh i’m always recognizing oh my energy’s low oh that emotions here oh i’m feeling like this way that can actually become a positive bend which is the moment you recognize it you have a play in your playbook you pull it out you execute on it and now you’re resisting against that and that’s the better version of you that’s the version of you that releases some of this stuff that a lot of people will carry with them like i had three calls in a row where people hung up the phone on me right and so they want to know why we jump out of our chairs and act like tommy boy whenever we set an appointment because no one deals with the rejection or the challenges that we deal with right so that’s you you got to have a bend here every single time it comes up pull out your play sheet in your playbook and say this is what i always do and now that will shorten those cycles the pendulum won’t swing so far out it’ll start to swing out you’ll recognize it you’ll swing it back in it’ll start to swing out you recognize it it’ll start to swing back in that is so good i’m back again here live on the mic in the podcast and that is so good to grab some of that because every single day whether it’s in our work whether it’s in our personal life whether it’s something physically challenging emotionally challenging us spiritually challenging challenging us we all deal with this moment in time where energy is low where our energy is off our emotions aren’t where they need to be and when we understand that were in control of that it’s a game changer we are in control of that one of the things that i say as a daily affirmation is that i am not a victim of circumstance i am gifted to change create and lead things from what they are to what they could be and one of those things is my own emotions my own energy my state one of the things that i learned as a 20-something i was a huge fan and still am the day in my but in my 20s and 30s really i i took in all of tony robbins content and if you’re a fan of tony robbins then you probably are are familiar with tony robbins uh what he calls the the triad or the triad which is this idea that there are three things that actually matter in changing our state and one of those is like physically the physical physiologically what am i doing with my body language am i sitting here with my chin up and my smile on my face and my my shoulders forward leaning into this thing or or physiologically am i slumping am i like is my body language say i don’t want to be here right that was one component i learned early on is that that was important the other part was is what are we saying like audibly what are we saying like the person who says negative things has negative emotions that follow that right and so what are we actually audibly saying matters right which is why i just gave you one of my personal affirmations i do personal affirmations all the time and i teach people that affirmations around recruiting is actually incredibly beneficial it’s incredibly helpful why because now audibly we’re leading which then means our mind or our focus can then follow because what we focus on expands and so body language physiologically that’s important audibly this is important what we focus on is important and tony robbins calls that the triad which is these three things that will literally determine whether we’re going to accomplish what it is that we set out to accomplish and so in that coaching session you can kind of hear some of those things that i am talking about that are a part of those three things that matter so then in those moments what we do is we lead ourselves it’s it’s leading ourselves no one else is going to lead you through this in that moment you can self-lead and and change something that might be a bad moment or a bad hour or a bad day or a bad week you can change those things and change your response to things change your energy to things and those things will actually make you more successful so thanks for listening to the podcast today i’ll be back soon with something else of value because i love this group i love this audience i hope you’re doing well thanks for the downloading this podcast if it brought you value today share with someone else the recruiter and the recruiting leader role is the most difficult job in any organization i just believe that it is and so if you’re listening this podcast man i’m high fiving you fist bumping you uh like like you are the one person on the seat on this bus called the company that can actually have the biggest impact because you can bring people to the organization through it is in who you are and what you do and so i’m applauding on from a distance and we’ll talk to you again another podcast soon because i will come back with another one until that happens have a great week everybody

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