If you listened to the prior episode which was episode 48, then you’re prepared to talk to hear me talk about stage 2 of this face-to-face meeting agenda, right? Or the second part of the face-to-face meeting agenda. We really set the stage end up in our podcast our episode 48 where we were talking about the importance of leading into this meeting relationship as a relationship building meeting, and then creating great framework where we’re you know using the acronym FORD to walk through asking prescriptive questions to get to the unscripted questions. So, if you haven’t listened to that please go to yourself a favor that’s great content you need to go back and listen to that too episode 48 in sequence to really get what we’re gonna talk about today.

Now, if you just show up here and you’re like I refuse to go back to episode 48, you’re still gonna get blown away by this because I really think that what I’m gonna share here with you today, could be the most important thing in recruiting. I legitimately think that this could be the most important thing in recruiting, and so stay tuned as we as we walk through this and kind of unpack this the second stage of a face-to-face meeting, okay?

So, let me just tell you my journey to this I think one of the biggest motivators let’s just say this I think the largest motivator on the planet the this thing that allows us to walk through brick walls, so allows us to get through these incredibly difficult seasons is having clarity around our purpose, having clarity around our calling, having clarity around why we do what we do. So, if you’re setting here today I just challenge you to ask yourself what’s my “why” like what’s my larger calling, what’s my purpose in being here. If you can’t answer that, then then you need to be able to answer that because look life is hard, right? A wise man once said anything worth having in this life, you will have to fight for it. When I look at my own life, one of the things I’m very aware of, is that anything that I have today at this ripe old age of 46, I don’t feel old by the way feel like I’m like for whatever reason I’m functioning at the highest level I’ve ever functioned at the age of 46, for those of you that think that 46 is old you have something to look forward to because you can connect the dots and so many things so quickly that if I could have connected the dots and these things when I was 30, and that was pretty immature at 30 let us be honest about that that I could have accomplished so much more, but one of the things I know in this journey to get to the age of 46 is that anything that I have today that’s worth having has come through the lens of perseverance, right? that’s the perseverance is the twelve lettered dirty word, like I know I don’t know don’t tell me to persevere tell me that like success is coming quickly, tell me that I’ve got I’m one step away from like slaying the dragon from doing something really big but the truth is that anything that I have in this life I have had to persevere. I’ve had to do the right thing again, and again, and again, for a long season to actually get to the place where one of the results that I that I wanted to get to the place where I had the results that I wanted, okay? So, this question around what is your largest motivator, like what is your calling, what is your purpose, what is your why, it’s an important piece that you as a leader have to get clarity on if this face-to-face meeting is going to be the face-to-face meeting that you need to convince someone that you are the leader of choice in the market that they’re in. So, let me let me give you let me give some unique framework around this look I look to marketers, and look marketers are just they’re always figuring out these creative ways to get to the endgame, which is like you know for a marketer the endgame is getting you and me the consumer to buy their product, right? So, here’s how marketers start any any campaign they really started with one larger principle, and the larger principle is this what do we have to convince the consumer of in order to get the consumer to buy our product, but not just that, what is the “one thing” like think about it they can’t, if you had to convince us of 10 things that would be like you know a 30 minute infomercial that will convinces of one thing, most advertisers have a minute or less to convince us of buying their product, right? That’s how long the commercial is, or how long our attention span is, that they have to actually get us to a place where we buy the product. So, let’s just let’s just talk about a couple of products right I’m a huge fan of fiberfix and if you haven’t seen some of fiber fixes really creative commercials you should go check them out because they’re actually extremely entertaining but the one thing with fiber fix that they’re trying to convince us of is that it will hold anything, and if they can convince us that we can hold anything it can hold the frame of a car together, it can hold the broken shovel handle together, together it can hold anything together then if they convince me of that and have some does a broken that needs to be fixed and I have to buy fiber fix, right? Like Gillette shavers, right? What are they trying to what’s the one thing that it’s the closest shave, if I want the closest shave, if I’ve got a razor that’s actually not giving me a close shave, then then I’m gonna buy a Gillette because Gillette’s convinced me that they have the closest shave. I’II laugh at like these commercials like the OxiClean commercials because they really are more in an infomercial style but OxiClean has the one thing too, right? The one thing with OxiClean is that they’re trying to convince us that we have a stain in our carpet, we have to buy oxy clean kool-aid stain, wine stain, whatever it is if you have that, you have to buy the product, right? If we take that context and we place it over recruiting, then we come to this place where we say “what is the one thing that we have to convince our recruit of in order to get them to join our team”. Now, I make that statement and let me just say this before I go any further if we’re gonna make this statement let this come from a place where you as an authentic leader really truly have a desire to help people accomplish that, okay? That’s really our goal here, we want to equip great leaders to build teams, right? That’s what we’re all about because we believe that we help a great leader build their team that we have larger influence. We’re going beyond the walls of their office because when great leaders impact people it goes beyond the walls their office it impacts the spouse, it impacts the child, it impacts other family members, friends, and community, right? And so, that’s a look I want this to help the authentic leader that in their heart of hearts would say that “I will help you accomplish your largest motivator” right? I think that’s what great leaders do they say what can I do to serve you what can I do to help you get where you want to get, right?

So inside this framework we would make this statement that as a recruiting leader if I can convince you that me above all other leaders in this market, will help you accomplish what motivates you most, what is your larger “why” then ultimately if I can convince you of that I think game’s over. It’s not, it no longer becomes a matter of if you’re going to join my team, it simply becomes a matter of when. Now, there’s some other pieces you better be good at your follow up but in this face-to-face meeting if I get this from you, and you leave that meeting, if I get this meaning, if I get your why from you and you leave this meeting clear that me as a leader will help you accomplish that then man I have a lot of momentum. So, the second stage in this face-to-face meeting is going to be getting the why for the individual that I’m trying to recruit, right? and so it’s a pretty simple question like what motivates you most, what is your why, okay? what do you want most, right? Now, it’s a powerful question that can sometimes get a very shallow answer. Look, I think in this season that we’re in, someone like a Simon Sinek who wrote a book on why is that a great job of helping people understand even what that framework means. I think we go back a decade ago, if you’d have tried to ask that question to most people most people wouldn’t have been able to answer it, but I think today we’re moving to a place where a lot of people are clear on this, but, big but, when you ask this question if you’re the response that you get from someone is a shallow answer, okay? Then you’re going to have to work to get a better answer. So, let me give an example this, if I said what’s your biggest motivator, what’s your why, and you said I want to make $250,000 this year, that’s a pretty shallow why, okay? If you say I want to make President’s Club or I want to do 200 transactions, or I want to hit X amount of volume, okay? All of those are pretty shallow whys, I need a better why, I need something deeper that because ultimately, if I settle for that answer then I have to recruit you through that lens of whatever that is, right? After recruits through the lens of money, maybe stuff right or you know success, prestige, title, whatever that is, and I don’t want to get stuck there. Like, yeah, I can recruit a lot of people in that in that place if I can help them accomplish that but ultimately I think as human beings, there’s larger drivers than being a success story, than making more money, than having a better house, than having that awesome car, that’s on my list, right? There’s more to it, we talked about this last week I ultimately think that when you get to the root of people people want to work with people they love doing what they love while making a greater difference. If you’ve listened to one of my other podcast, you’ll hear me reference a part of that and what I call the BAM zone, hear that BAM zone is this people desire to belong that’s the B belonging, people love to be affirmed, it’s the second highest motivator on planet earth, and then people want to have larger meaning and what they do. The paycheck, it what it does, it gives me some it’s a low-level motivator, yeah, right? It’s it makes you feel safe, it makes me feel secure, I feel protected and provided, for those things are important but that’s the lowest form of humor motivation if those things there place then there’s higher purpose, there’s higher calling, there’s higher meaning, that I need in order to ultimately will feel fulfilled. So, what do we do when we get a shallow why, here’s what we do, a giving example this in my own story. So, when I would take people back to a place in my own story now, in my story 2007 I’ve been in this specifically the mortgage industry at that time for about five years, 2007 rolls around and for those of you that are in the mortgage industry, or even real estate, or even an inch or some of the surrounding industries of that, you kind of know where I’m going with this like 2007 was the beginning of a about a 24 month window if not longer have a lot of pain that came at that industry. I’m five years in and I think I’ve got it all figured out, and I say I think I got it all figured out, and this is the most success I’ve ever had in business. I’m at a place where I’m signing multiple leases on retail square footage, doing five-year bill five your cut leases with build-outs included in them. Like I really think I’ve got this figured out. I’m doing a direct mail model where I could tell you down to the percentage point, how many people were gonna call into the office. I could go down to the percentage point of how many people were going to get qualified I could tell you the number of days and that we were gonna actually get them closed 2007 rolls around we’ve got about 50 people that are about to go to closing and bam, it happens, right? Overnight, it happens. Like the entire business model was built on something that wasn’t sustainable and I didn’t know enough to know that, okay? So, you find yourself in parts of your career where you’re like you don’t know what you don’t know until you know it and in that moment when I knew it was too late. So, I find myself getting into mid 2007, and then my business models broken, I have no idea how to figure this out, at the time I was very compartmentalized in the type of transactions that I had done. I really didn’t fully understand the industry, and I recognized that I was gonna have to recreate myself, not only recreate myself but I was gonna have to go through a painful window where I’m letting go employees, where I’m shutting down offices, where I’m having an impossible time making my finances make ends meet, and so I can almost in this moment transport myself back to where I’m lying in bed at night and I’m saying there’s nothing to live for tomorrow. Look, literally, there’s nothing to live for tomorrow, in those moments, I was able to connect with being 19 years of age, right? This is 12 years ago so around 12 years ago twelve thirteen years ago, it’s hard to think it’s been 12 to 13 years but it’s been 12 to 13 years since this took place. So, at the time I’m in my early 30s, right? I’m about 15 years removed from having left a home where we were extremely poor, right? We defined poverty, right? We ate salted crackers and powdered milk for breakfast, we got evicted from homes, I, you know had shoes that had holes in what I wore in school, we always had hand-me-downs from cousins, which was which was awesome and a blessing, but we you know when I left home at the age of 19 I made a decision I said this to myself, okay? I said that I will never go back to that, my family will never live like that, that was like a line in the sand at the age of 19 and I was so tenacious and so driven simply because I said I will never live like that. I get to the age of like in my early 30s and I’m looking at failure square in the face at this time, Ethan’s five, he’s now 17, Gavin’s a newborn, who is now 12, LeeAnn I’ve been married for about eight years and in these moments I’m realizing, like I said I was never going to get here, and I feel like I am here, and I’m having a difficult time getting out of bed in the morning justice just to face what was gonna be another difficult day, full of difficult conversations, and in those moments what happened for me was I got ultimate clarity on what motivates me most. Having a newborn, a five-year-old, a wife of eight years, I got out of bed in the mornings for them. I didn’t do it for me I had hard conversations for them, I didn’t do it for me I recreated myself for them, I didn’t do it for me. So, I would share that story with people okay where I got a shell of why, and then I would and then I would make this statement, I would make this statement if you found yourself in that similar position, like what would be the biggest motivators for you, what would be the drivers for you, and I would allow people to respond to that. Now, here’s what happens in that situation. So, hopefully you know maybe maybe you haven’t felt maybe you’re the 33 year old version of Richard that hasn’t had any success, any serious failures, and if that’s true, then please borrow my story, you can say I know this guy by the name of Richard, and he had a miserable failure, let me tell you a story, in when I got clarity and why, you can borrow my story, okay? But here’s what happens, as human beings, and I just already know this right now. This audience is listening to this you already have a story, as I’m telling my story my story’s connecting to one of your stories, right? As human beings, immediately the story connects to other stories as I shared this story when I was recruiting with people it would connect to their story and what they would do was they would feel inclined to reciprocate, and that’s powerful, that’s extremely powerful. That’s how we get to know each other, it’s like I share and I have an authentic real story, right? It takes you back to the beginning that’s important framework, it gives conflict and struggle, that’s important framework, and it takes you to a place where I am right now that’s all of that’s framework for great storytelling, in that moment you feel inclined to share your story as well, okay? This is how you build real relationships, but ultimately what I’m after here is, I want a better version of your why. So, with the recruit if someone were to respond to that, okay? I would always get a better answer. So, this is really, really, really important here’s why cuz when I leave and I know your why I will pursue you forever through the lens of your why. I’ll literally pursue you forever the lens of that, tell me at your family Milligan and I’ll do some awesome and incredible things to convince you that I’m all about helping you accomplish More than moments with your family. So, I’ll give an example this six months into recruiting somebody, that gave me context like what I would give you because I would say my family’s mine my highest priority, I might put my family in front of my business, and so then you know beyond that what I would I would do if I was pursuing myself, is six months into this, I go to my facebook page, I’d find that awesome vacation picture with me and my my four kids and my wife and I would do something as hard as right-clicking and dropping it as a JPEG on my desktop and then upload to a framing website for 40 bucks I’d buy a cool frame and I would send it to you, and I would send it to you with the note, and I note would sound something along the lines of Richard and the time I’ve gotten to know you your family is something that’s a priority for you, and I saw this photo because of that I just had to send it to you I wanted to let you know this, that if we ever had the chance to partner I’ll be all about help when you accomplish more moments like, this mic drop, right? That’s powerful, you’re pursuing me, okay? Or hypothetically, I’m pursuing myself so let’s be real but if you do this you’re pursuing the people that you want on your team through the lens of what matters to them most, what’s most important to them. This is how you build the Epiphany bridge, the Epiphany bridge is that “aha” moment, right? That bridge has to cover I’m happy over here, and you’re trying to get me to your team over here, and this big gap in between, right? How you get someone from being over here where they’re happy to your team over here, as you build that bridge, right? You help them have the aha moment that aha moment is that this is a leader who will help me accomplish what matters to me, and when they have that mom when they have that epiphany then they’re ready to join your team.

So okay this is the second part of four pieces, this is a powerful framework look and here’s what here’s what will come from this, you can’t ask someone that is not on your team for their why, and then bring them into your environment where you don’t know everybody else’s why. So, a starting point for you after listeners podcast is you go to your team, you go to your team that’s currently underneath your leadership right now, and you ask this question and you do it like I did, the way I did it was, I don’t currently know what motivates you and you’ve been on my team for two years, and that’s keeping me awake at night and I would love to know this, what are your biggest motivators, what do you want to accomplish while you’re here, what’s something dreamy that you are looking out three to five years from now and you’re saying this is something that’s important to me, and you start asking those questions, and when you start asking those questions not only do you become a better recruiter but you become a better retainer of the current talent that you have. So, that’s pot that’s episode two of four around this around these four stages these four pieces to face-to-face meetings, comeback episode three, Episode four are gonna be just as powerful as this one. I’m looking forward to sharing this with you. I’m looking forward to hearing your feedback on these that you’re applying these, and the interactions, and the engagement, and the responses that you’re gonna get from people, and please if you need a borrowed story of failure, borrow my story of failure, okay? If you can’t come up with your own, if you don’t have your own, but my hunch is that most of you have your own stories and you’re going to be able to share those stories. As I shared my story here’s less take away, you’ve got to become a better storyteller, how you tell that story the power with which you tell that story matters, okay? Fifty thousand foot view will not get you to helping someone having their “aha” moment you need to go granular on this, you need to give them concrete details, right? You go very deep on these stories when you’re sharing with someone and by doing that what you will do is help other people understand the framework that you’re presenting to them which is what does it motivate you most, what is your why, what matters to you most, and when you get that you become a very powerful recruiter, okay? So, thanks so much for tuning in to another recruiting conversations, we will be back soon with what will be episode 50, oh my goodness! I’m just realizing this episode 50 like isn’t that like the Silver Anniversary, I know if you see me on videos say I’ve got a lot of silver hair, I don’t think it’s great I think it’s silver that’s pretty cool, we’ve met we’re gonna make it to 50 and with this with this podcast, thanks so much for tuning in and so we’ll see you again on the next time as we talk about the four stages of face-to-face meetings have a great week everybody.

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